Love and Logic Institute

Let Them Figure It Out - by Jim Fay

Some day your kids are going to need to figure things out for themselves. Wouldn't it be unfortunate if they found themselves in a dangerous or tempting situation when they get their first opportunity?

Universities report that this is often the case. Young adults are known to speed dial their parents, hand the cell phone to officials and say, "Talk to my mom. She will straighten this out."

Don't pass up an opportunity to give your kids practice figuring things out for themselves while they are still young. It's tempting in this fast-paced world to do things that kids could do for themselves. It's quicker, we're pressed for time, and it feels so good to help them.

But the bad news is that many parents pass up opportunity after opportunity to say, "I bet you can figure that out. Give it a try; I'll be here later if you need some help." Those parents put their kids at risk for believing unstated messages that say, "I have to do this because you are not capable."